Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
