i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
