I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
