I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pants are for mortals
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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