a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
