i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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