You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
