I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
