I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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