You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize