she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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