His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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