hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
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this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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