I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
