youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Mom said you looked used
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
