I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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