I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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