Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
