thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
