Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
