yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
