Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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