So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
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And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize