i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
