if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
