Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
