I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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