Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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