He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I party with great urgency now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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