i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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