I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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