Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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