So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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