i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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