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why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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