i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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