Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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