Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
