WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize