Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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