So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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