ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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