Non-Jews are for practice
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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