lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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