Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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