I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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