just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
