I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
