If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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