if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize