like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
