there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
