sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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