I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
