#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
