At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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