Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
