Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
