I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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