The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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