I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
