i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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