Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
